Despite all that I have been through I am almost certain that there will be other obstacles for me to overcome and I GET TO experience it all. It’s a privilege to be alive and I’m HERE for it!
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I don’t know how we got to this notion of having to have it all figured out in T-minus 30 seconds. Some of the precedents we model our lives after are a bit unrealistic when we should model our lives on what works for us, not society or an entity. All I know is, that whatever comes, I am so ready for it!
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I just have a really good feeling about 2024, it’s comforting to know that whatever I am lacking there is hope. There is the belief in the better of tomorrow. I CAN’T wait!
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That silly little “I <3 NY” logo is hitting on another level. Where else can you be you? The you, you love at any particular given moment? What other city would tolerate my loud/outspoken/honest self and still find me endearing, and not at all offensive?
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It’s you and it’s me, it’s all of us together living as one. As corporate capitalism continues to invade, Central Park remains the one tried and true thing about Manhattan.
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It would be easy to shrink back in fear or act out of temporary emotion, which usually our default as humans is anger. Still, I will always advocate for finding the love, no matter how hard it gets. Now perhaps more than ever in today’s crazy world, we must always find the love. Love for ourselves first, and then love for others.
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Here’s the thing, and maybe I am over-generalizing BUT it feels like being human nowadays is becoming increasingly difficult, finding that courage to show up in the roles we play in our lives. For me, lately, it seems I am finding it difficult even to show up for myself so I CAN be the best version of myself to everyone else around me. That also requires that I be brave with myself or self-aware and acknowledge what my body is telling me or when I need to self-care and recharge.
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I used to think it was my purpose to heal the world, I have learned and as cliche as it sounds, I really only had to heal myself so I can get back to a place of love, love for myself and love for others.
As I travel back to “The States” as the Brits say, I will take with me the fondest memories of this place and while it pains me to say goodbye for now, I am glad I did this for myself.
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Adulthood is funny though, that’s for sure. In a way, I do feel like I’m regressing. I’m having more fun & feeling more fulfilled and comfortable in this skin. My body on the other hand has sent me some warning signs, still, I’m grateful. If only life came with a manual or some sort of guidebook, but then again I’ve never really followed the rules per se, I’ve always made my own.
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All of which I write in hopes that this also helps you to trust the divine timing of your life. Yes, life is messy as I have previously mentioned in my other posts but to quote Yung Pueblo (2022), “Maturity is when you’re able to finally ride the ups and downs of life without getting tossed around by them. You don’t expect everything to be perfect, you know change is a constant, you don’t judge yourself when times get hard and you live in gratitude and you enjoy the good when it’s here”.
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There was a moment this evening as I re-visited my old neighborhood, one of my old favorite restaurants too, and well, if I’m being honest it felt like I was really visiting older versions of myself when I realized, I really am growing. Perhaps above all else I am healing and to think it all began when I was living in Harlem.
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It’s not your fault. You were doing the best that you could with the circumstances of life that were dealt to you. You are precious, you were and are perfect just the way God made you. You are light, you are love and you are life itself regardless of your mistakes.
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That’s how living life to the fullest is done! Refusing to give up no matter how hard this world tries to beat you down, the willingness to look inward and heal your own trauma, and the courage to fearlessly live your life being the you that you love
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What does 2023 look like? Saying more “yes” to things that inspire me or light me up inside because the universe responds to the energy we give off.
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I believe in love, and I believe in laughing and laughing as much as you can. You have to! It’s the only way to survive and get to the next place we’re going. And I hope more than anything that each human I encounter always gets to where they’re going or where they want to be. What if we all just got better cheering one another along the way, imagine what kind of place this world could be.
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No matter how much I want to save the world, I also recognize that change begins with me and I strive to be better than who I’ve been and always keep love in my heart. More importantly, may I always remind myself that when life gets overwhelming and challenging, all will come full circle and I must keep pressing forward, its the only way to survive. One foot in front of the other. Besides progress no matter how slow is still progress.
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I have learned above all else it’s about patience. Patience with the process and yourself. And even patience with healing. In the words of Jacob Riis, “When nothing seems to help I go and look at a stonecutter hammering away at a rock, perhaps a hundred without so much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow, it will split in two, and I know it was not the last blow that did it, but all that had gone before.”
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We’ve made progress, yes, but we have work to do! And in the words of a woman, I so greatly admire, Ms. Jennifer Lopez and of course one of the world’s most beautiful women is Latina like me, “Let’s Get Loud…Ain't nobody gotta tell ya what you gotta do. If you wanna live your life, live it all the way and don't you waste it…LET’S GET LOUD!”
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Whoever may be reading this, I see you and I get you my brother/sister/friend (whichever label works for you, ps: I hate labels) and we’re in this together. I’ve reached the point of my life where yes I want to be challenged and questioned. I want to stare my fears in the face and do things that scare me, why? Because it’s the only way out or the only way in which (I have found) that we grow.
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Even if you don’t know how it will all work out, I promise you it will. If we haven’t been listening to what Journey has been singing about these years, never stop believing. Never stop believing that it can STILL happen
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